Second chances.

As a kid, it was ritual to go straight to the kitchen after school and find out what your dinner fate was. I would enter the kitchen and do what every Haitian mom hates, lift the lid off the pot and peer in to see and smell what was cooked for the day. What I knew for certain was that there was a fifty percent chance that it would be rice or mayi moulin.(pronounced {mayee-mouleh}). Rice I could deal with, but mayi moulin? Lets just say, I could be brought to tears at it's sight. In my mind I would berate my mother and wonder why she would continue this horrible cycle of once a week bringing me unwarranted dread. I would pray that daddy would not be at the table while I ate because he would insist I swallow every morsel of that dreaded heap of yellow mush before I could get up from the table. He would say,“ It's good for you; it will make you strong!” The only way the yellow mound of mush was palatable for me was if it was fresh and hot from the pot. Otherwise, I thought I could feel my throat slowly closing as the fork touched my lips. Sometimes I would have a stare down with my dad both cheeks filled, refusing to swallow. Sometimes I won and with joy spit it out into the nearest trash can. Sometimes I threw in the towel and swallowed the mush. The best way to describe my childhood relationship with this dish is traumatic. I vowed that when I had my own family, I would break the cycle. That is, until a visit from my Tati last fall. Tati is an affectionate way to refer to an aunt, you will see this reference often so i thought it best to get that out of the way.

Mayi moulin is basically boiled cornmeal. Cornmeal is as much a staple for Haitian cuisine as rice, hence that 50% chance of it being part of your dinner if you live in a Haitian household as I mentioned earlier.

On a visit last fall, Tati shared a method of making mayi moulin with me and I felt inclined to give it a second chance. I decided to try it so I could finally have closure with this dreaded Haitian staple. To my utter shock, I tried the method and LOVED it. I ended up having seconds. The only thing that I could come up with for my precious distaste for this dish is immature taste buds. I have nothing. It was so good to me when I made it myself that I even decided to break my vow and introduce it to my kids. I recognized the dreaded look on my 14 year-old’s face the night I served it. It was the same face I made when I lifted the pot cover and saw the yellow mush as a kid. I smiled and put my hand on his back and told him,” I know what you're thinking and feeling, just try it, it wont kill you, I promise.” He looked unconvinced, so in a firmer tone I said,“It's good for you, it will make you strong!” It is my duty as a Haitian mom to continue the tradition of guilting my children into submission. They ate it and each had a different reaction. None of them hated it, none of them did cartwheels over it. They gave it a fair chance and committed it would not be the last time they ate it. My middle boy, who is a bit of a foodie told me he actually enjoyed it and wondered why this was the first time he ate it. My response “ Before now, I never gave it a second chance.”

In doing some research , I found that many people use water to cook their cornmeal. My recipe and the way my mom and aunt make it is with milk. I asked my mom, and in true fashion she replied “ Because that's how my grandma did it and it taste better!” I agree with that. Feel free to make your own choice in that matter.

My recipe is pretty spicy, because I enjoy heat in my foods. If you've never had a scotch bonnet pepper before, I advise you to be very conservative about the amount you use. Consider lowering the amount by half or keeping it out altogether. Your mouth may regret it if you get too loose. Last thing, I use smoked herring. I have found that when you use smoked or cured anything, there is less of a need to add salt. If you find you want more salt after its cooked, add it to your taste. Enjoy:)

Recipe

1 cup of Coarse yellow cornmeal 1 Filet of smoked herring shredded into small pieces

1tsp diced Scotch Bonnet pepper

1 small shallot sliced into thin rings 3 ½ cups of milk

2 tbsp of olive oil

Add heat to a small dutch pot and add two tablespoons of oil to pot. With heat still under pot, add scotch bonnet pepper, smoked herring and shallot to oil and sautée for two to three minutes or when shallot is tender .

Raise heat to high and add milk.

Bring milk to boil and quickly add cornmeal. DON'T WALK AWAY! I REPEAT DONT WALK AWAY from stove . Using a spoon, stir cornmeal vigorously to ensure it doesn't clump and is evenly distributed in pot and reduce heat down to a low simmer.

Cover pot and let it cook on low heat for 25 minutes. Your Mayi moulin should be smooth and creamy. If you find you want the consistency a little smoother stir in a ¼ cup of milk and cover for 5 more minutes otherwise your Mayi moulin is ready to serve.

If you find you want the consistency a little smoother stir in a ¼ cup of milk and cover for 5 more minutes otherwise your Mayi moulin is ready to serve.